6/14/2025

"No Kings!" Protest Accidentally Proves U.S. Has No King — Founders laugh on the Sidelines

 


By Benjamin Snark, Staff Satirist

In a twist that left historians chuckling and the Constitution giving a smug side-eye, a group of protesters recently took to the streets chanting “NO KINGS!”—seemingly unaware that the U.S. hasn’t had a king since 1776 and, thanks to that dusty old document they never read, we legally can’t have one.

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